The Golden Summer

11 Oct

Five and a half years ago I packed up my life and moved from Las Vegas to San Diego to pursue love; love for a man who has my heart and love for the city in which I was raised. It was the best decision I ever made, but also the loneliest. I left behind much heartache, but I also left behind my family. I was alone in this city, except for Brett.
Until you’ve been away from your family for an extended period of time, you cannot understand the hole that is left in your heart when you leave them. I moved for love, yes, but I also left behind the unconditional love that I had known my entire life. This was the first time I lived in a different state than my family.
This past summer, for a few short weeks at a time, I was able to experience what life would be like around a large chunk of family. I had my aunts and uncles living nearby, my cousins visiting and my parents stayed in San Diego for a month.
It was heaven.
Brett and I would often drive the short distance to see my family and while we were at their house we felt nothing but love. We never laughed so much as when we were with my family. There’s just something about being around the people who have known you since you were born to make you feel loved and accepted.
We had countless family dinners and impromptu get-togethers. Hugs, kisses, songs, drinks, food, laughter, conversation…it was all that I ever wanted in my San Diego life.
Yesterday marked the official end of having family close to me. My aunt and uncle moved away. I’ve known the day would come, but I think I just didn’t want to embrace the idea. I still don’t. They moved for a better life and better jobs, which I am grateful for, but I hate that they had to move so far away.
Now my closest family is in Orange County and also Los Angeles.
My in-laws remind me that they’re family too, but it just isn’t the same. The family dynamic isn’t the same. I haven’t spent 30 years knowing them like I have my own family.
I was pretty sad yesterday but I have come to terms with the lack of family in my life. It’s back to just having Brett with the happy addition of Neely.
But I still need my family.
I don’t know what the future holds or how it’s going to be possible for us to live near each other again, but I really hope it happens.
Life without the unconditional love of your family is lonely.
I’m trying to not be lonely.
I will have my moments of sadness, but I will always look on this summer as the Golden Summer. The summer when we were together again.


4 Responses to “The Golden Summer”

  1. GG 10/11/2010 at 10:44 am #

    It was wonderful, wasn’t it! I pray that we will be able to experience togetherness on an ongoing basis. I can’t imagine how, but…I heard a very smart person say: If it’s important to you, it’s important to God!

    • Sarah 10/11/2010 at 10:46 am #

      All I truly NEED is to live close to you guys. ::sigh::

  2. La Vonda 10/11/2010 at 11:17 am #


  3. Cindie Vertefeuille 10/14/2010 at 5:14 pm #

    Sarah – you made me cry….but it’s okay. We WILL live close again. But the main thing to remember is that no matter where anyone lives we are as close as our hearts.
    Auntie Pants

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