Confession

13 Jun

Confession: We co-sleep with Neely.
GASP!
Say whaaa?
Yes. I am one of those people.
And you know what? I love it.
I always thought I would never be like that. I thought that people who co-sleep were weird and had no sex life.
But then my little Neely was born and was so tiny and so used to being close to me in my womb. At night when I’d lay her down she would reach out for me and if she couldn’t feel me she would start grunting and flailing her limbs.
I’m not sure if you read all of my TTC posts, but it took us quite a while to get pregnant with Neely. I lost two babies. Two dreams of tiny warm cooing bundles gone. It took a LOT of tears and a LOT of prayer to get our Neely. I have videos that I never posted on my YouTube channel of me sobbing after getting yet another BFN or another period.
And we have totally restructured our life to make sure I can be a stay at home mom. I mean totally restructured. I quit my job which meant we lost half of our income. Not having an outside job is awesome, but seriously…the lack of income is crazy sometimes. But we so desperately want to do right by this precious gift that God saw fit to give us.
All of this to say, I want to be near Neely every second of every day.
There were times when I was convinced that I would never get pregnant. Or if I got pregnant again, I’d have a third miscarriage.
So to have Neely, alive, strong, beautiful, passionate Neely, means everything to me.
And having her tiny baby body sleeping next to mine at night, or when we take naps, is a dream come true.
I guess why I’m posting all of this is because I feel so judged by people when they find out she sleeps in our bed.
Just a few days ago someone said, “She sleeps in your bed?” with judgment dripping from their words.
And I felt like I had to defend myself!
It’s safe, she sleeps between me and the co-sleeper so that no one rolls on top of her.
Sometimes she sleeps in her co-sleeper, but mostly she sleeps right next to me.
And, like my auntie said, it’s not like she’ll be 8 years old sleeping in my bed, it’s just for now!
Besides, who wouldn’t want this precious angel sleeping next to them?

Also, in case you were wondering, our sex life is awesome! (hi mom)

p.s. this isn’t about anyone I know in real life. All of my friends are friends and are awesome.

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15 Responses to “Confession”

  1. La Vonda 06/13/2010 at 12:13 pm #

    Ocean slept on my chest & Diego right next to me, looking back I say do your thing.
    You will never get those moments back.

    • Sarah 06/14/2010 at 6:42 am #

      You are so right! These baby months are so precious and fleeting. I am soaking it all up (except her hour long crying sessions lol)!

  2. Brett 06/13/2010 at 2:35 pm #

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE waking up and seeing Neely holding onto you as she sleeps. You two are me! And the end of your blog is legit, or I would have a problem with the sitch :-p

    • Sarah 06/14/2010 at 6:43 am #

      I love you. You’re the best husband in the world. But you already knew that!

  3. marlissa2006 06/13/2010 at 2:55 pm #

    You go momma! We co-sleep and did with our first son as well! I love waking up to my beautiful baby laying next to me!! I am glad that you wrote this. Now I don’t feel alone! :)

  4. Cindie Vertefeuille 06/13/2010 at 6:54 pm #

    You know missy, what your Auntie thinks about what OTHER people think and say!
    Just like Lovey Evelina up there said: You will never get those moments back. And let me add: those moments belong ONLY to you and your child NOT people with stupid opinions.

    • Sarah 06/14/2010 at 6:38 am #

      I love you! And you’re so right!

  5. GG 06/13/2010 at 10:38 pm #

    You and Brett make me smile! (Love the pic of you and Neely…)

    • Sarah 06/14/2010 at 6:33 am #

      Thanks Mama! :)

  6. ihilani 06/14/2010 at 1:25 am #

    I sooo know what you mean! I haven’t even told my family. They’re from a *different* school of thought I guess. I know iʻd just get raised eyebrows and need to explain myself. BLAH. Well, we’re co-sleeping more out of necessity (no room) but still, I love it, and now, if we had room for a crib, I’d still keep her right in bed with me. Nōweo does the same thing when I try to put her in her little bed thingy. she grunts and flails around too. it breaks my heart. i gave up using it.

    Iʻm so happy that you finally have your Neely after so much heartache. Seriously. Iʻm tearing up right now. Iʻve been blessed to be able to conceive easily, but I wonder how much more I would appreciate having a child if it was difficult. I can tell you are such a fierce mother because of your loss. Neely is one lucky girl! Bless you both!

    • Sarah 06/14/2010 at 6:50 am #

      Babies just need their mamas! I think about animals and none of them send their babies to a different part of the forest or ocean or what have you to sleep! It’s natural to sleep near each other!
      I’m so glad you were able to conceive easily! I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone. Thank you for the support! :)

  7. Melinda 06/14/2010 at 11:33 am #

    People are so ridiculous at times! Don’t let their strange looks affect you, because you are an amazing mama! xo

  8. Loralyn 06/14/2010 at 1:07 pm #

    It’s wonderful that you, Brett and Neely are so happy with your arragements. That should be all anyone is concerned with. I have tried it (for all the wonderful bonding reasons you listed) but neither Aurora or I sleep well; we both move around too much when we sleep and end up waking each other up.

    But those times when she is sick or not feeling well, I bring her into my bed and we jusy lay there and thats the only thing that calms her and its the most amazing feeling.

    I slept with my mom, just the two of us, until she met my step-dad when I was like 8, and I transitioned out of it just fine.

    Every family is different and has different needs!

  9. Steff W 06/14/2010 at 8:53 pm #

    We co sleep also (: I think it is wonderful

  10. Lulu 06/16/2010 at 7:38 pm #

    Every family is different. Continue doing what makes sense for YOUR family. People will always judge, but you know every decision you make is the best for your family. Love you.

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