Speaking Life

30 Mar

I have always struggled with speaking positive things, saying that I’d rather not hope than be disappointed.
That is an extremely un-biblical perspective.
I decided today that for this month of TTC, I will EXPECT that this is our month.
I will EXPECT that God does a miracle and allows me to become pregnant.
Because…why not? Why couldn’t this be our month?
I think that speaking LIFE to my womb and allowing God to do His will is going to work.
Maybe not this month, but soon.
I will have a baby one day.

And as the months slip by without being pregnant I realize that I don’t CARE if I get pregnant. I just want a firm answer on if I can or cannot have a baby so then we can move on to adoption.
I just want to raise a child.
I don’t care if it grows in my body or not.
Of course, ideally I want to experience maternity clothes, my body changing, morning sickness, doctors visits, ultra sounds, feeling the baby kick, breast feeding…
But I’ll take motherhood in any form.

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